Day 2 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge

Describe: the good, the bad, and the ugly of yourself

This is an annoying prompt. This is probably the least motivating prompt I could get.

The good:
I tried to answer this by thinking about what someone else might say about me… and I failed. So I did some digging.
I always pay people back. At least I try to always pay people back. Well, I try not to borrow anything from people in the first place, but if I do, I pay them back.
When I’m in one of those awkward group settings where a person of authority is asking for someone to volunteer to go first, and nobody else does, I usually do. Only if no one else is willing to.
I think I’m pretty compassionate.

The bad:
Sadly, this list came out much more easily. They just kept coming. And coming. And coming.
Regardless of how little I like to admit it, I’m extremely sensitive. I will pick up on what may seem to be the tiniest thing and I will probably never forget it.
That being said, I’m not overtly emotional- I actually come off as pretty apathetic and standoffish, which is not any better. I’ve been called boring- twice.
I’m extremely avoidant. I don’t even know if that is a word, but as I often do, I’m pretending it is one. I avoid everything that I am “supposed” to do from making phone calls and responding to emails, to sharing news and doing work.
I can be very impulsive. And that thing about no regrets? IT’S A LIE.
I am a huge, like huge internet creep. I feel like I kinda should have included this in my good, since it’s pretty useful to be able to find out pretty much anything with such ease, but I’ve been told that it’s actually “creepy” and “not right” so… whatever.

The ugly
This I am not comfortable going into on this platform- probably has something to do with my avoidant nature. I’ll stick to working on this individually.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings, of freedom.
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Starting the 30 Day Blogging Challenge

*blows dust off of keyboard*

I’m here! I’ve given up on saying that I’m back because I don’t think there’s anyone left who would ever believe me. But I am here, and I am starting my first of 30 posts for the 30 day blogging challenge, which unexpectedly consists of following daily prompts set out for 30 days. I think it was created by this person, and I’m doing it with this lovely person, whom you should all be familiar with by now. If you’re interested, keep up with both of our challenges, and see you at the finish line (hows that for a cringey cliche?).

So Day 1: What, Why, and Where I write.

What:
My blog’s title will tell you that I write opinion, humour and lifestyle. In that order, and in that grammatical structure. Since that’s blatantly vague, I’ll stretch it out into a proper sentence: I write about my opinion on things that I’ve seen, read about, thought about, or experienced, and I try (very hard) to not look like I’m trying that hard to be humorous. I rarely share personal anecdotes- I try more to use my personal life as inspiration for commentary on the “bigger picture”.

Why:
I decided to start writing the same way that I decide to do most things: out of sheer impulse. When I started, a little over a year ago, I was at a point where I could sometimes literally not do anything else until I had written. Now I can do just about anything else instead of write. And while it seems that my ability to publish these posts has undeniably decreased (hell it has pretty much entirely dissipated), there’s a tiny bit of comfort in that I still feel this urge to write. I think that I think about things that are important to me and I want to be able to process them in a more long lasting way (as opposed to just talking out loud to myself, which I do… all the time).

Where:
If this is referring to the location that I write in- I’ve written on my bed, on my desk, in the library, and on my dining room table.
If it’s referring to what I write on- The only time I haven’t used my laptop was once when I posted from my phone in the middle of the night. I’ve used a notepad before, a good old-fashioned notepad, for a post that I thought out for about 3 days and divided into parts and pieces. It’s one I’m quite proud of.

So there’s that. I am going to make it to day 2.

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Consumption

I have, at this very moment, realized something about myself. I say this dramatically because it’s quite a big deal that I’m being decisive AND that I’m characterizing myself- basically, it warrants some dramatization.

It’s the middle of the night, and I am consumed by thoughts. I am so consumed that all of what little energy I have remaining from this tiring day is being split between these thoughts, and trying not to have them. Which has led me to the realization, that any form of mental occupation quite literally occupies every crook of my mind and consumes me whole.

I was tired at 9 pm today. 9. That’s outrageous, but I genuinely was. So why can’t I sleep? Why can’t it stop? What is this irritating game I’m playing without any semblance of consent?

I tried to read 1984. I’ve never read it, and reading always manages to tire me out in a soothing way, but it didn’t work. Even better, I couldn’t even read properly. So I just laid there, not reading and not sleeping… Just being consumed.

So, I decided to resuscitate this thing (hey that’s two decisions in one night)!
I didn’t plan to get back to this in such a disoriented and frankly shitty way, but alas.

We can blame it on this abstract consumption, consuming my capacity to reason.

I want to sleep.

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I’ve got nothing

Only here to say that I have been logging on to WordPress every single night and have been writing- despite my clear lack of posting. Currently working on something. Hope you’re all well 🙂

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Happy One Year & Life Update

Joyeux anniversaire!
I’m celebrating my one year anniversary with WordPress tonight with… an empty blog post. Ha!

I haven’t posted in almost a month, and I attribute (AND JUSTIFY) that to finals! But I am freeee! Well, as free as one can be with the thoughts of impending grade postings looming around their brain… but alas. ‘Tis life.

This year, I have over a three week winter vacation, which is incredible! While that is pretty normal for American universities, it is the FIRST time my school does this and a bunch of other Canadian schools have yet to follow suit. I think it’s so necessary- finals really, really drained my energy. I’m still trying to repay my sleep debt (not there yet even after a week of sleeping in) and regulate my circadian rhythm as well as get used to being around people (as dramatic as that may sound).

I had a lot of big plans for this break, and I hope they don’t wither away in the sea of all the nothingness I’ve been doing… I’m just not used to being motivated about things non-school related… Hell, I can barely muster up motivation when it is school related… but I remain hopeful.

Of course, on the top of my list is to keep the blog posts happening. In this time of non-posting I’ve been doing a lot of reading and web-surfing, and have become amazed at the breadth of incredible content out there. I want to meet all of these people!

I don’t have much else to say, so I’ll keep it at this:

Happy holidays, and talk to you soon! ❤

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Breaking: My Response To An Ignorant Post

Warning: You will probably (I SINCERELY HOPE, AT LEAST) get extremely annoyed by this girl’s post. If you read it and you don’t, well, please just avoid me.
I don’t really have much to say, other than I’m not sure why I decided to respond to this particular post (out of the millions on the internet) because at the end of the day there will always be people set in their own ignorant opinions, and I usually find it much more worth my energy to just ignore them, but this time I didn’t and I actually do feel better.

The post is by a 16 year old girl who is a fellow writer on an online magazine, Dazzled, which you should check out because it is a really cool platform (thanks to Kiana for showing it to me in the first place) and it is her “take” on the Ferguson Decision.

My response (without the grammatical errors I left on the comment section of her post):

To be frank- I am just quite disappointed to read this piece.

To start, I don’t think you (or anyone) can fairly demand respect for any opinion. Respect needs to be earned- and while I, as part of my values, choose to respect people (unless they give me a reason not to) in general, this does not entail respecting every opinion they have. Furthermore, you pretty much started off your post on an antagonizing note- “I’m not sorry if this offends you”- I would hope that you aren’t so apathetic as to truly not care if your words offend readers, especially with regards to such a touchy subject.

Another thing I want to point out, which you may have missed even in all of your “research”, is that the decision was not a “verdict” like you said it was. It was about an indictment, which basically means whether the case even deserves to be tried, which is fundamentally different from a verdict. The “no” to an indictment means that these jurors, unsurprisingly, felt that Michael Brown didn’t even deserve a trial- so essentially, you are agreeing with that statement.

There is one thing (of the many) you said in particular that is borderline egregious, and truly showcases ignorance.
You said that you have a problem with people who are “throwing up the middle finger to their country about something that doesn’t even affect them”. This is just a shameful thing to say. The only way I can try to understand this is by reasoning that you are too blinded by your own privilege. The essence of any COURT CASE is to use the LAW to try people- the LAW is applied to PEOPLE at large. The results of the indictment show how the LAW works when it is applied to a certain demographic, and this is why it HAS and SHOULD cause outrage. And, thus, people need to protest against such discrimination and injustice. Unless you think they shouldn’t.

Finally, with regards to the tweet you think is so clever- you have obviously failed to recognize, and this will likely never change, that you are simply romanticizing reality if you think that this system allows for equal opportunity for anyone to “change the system” or “be the system”. That’s naive, and ignorant.

With that, all I have left to say is that my comments were said with all due respect for you as a person, but with no respect for your opinion on this matter. And I truly hope that before you take a defensive stance you try to consider what I, and the comments above, have said.

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Let’s Talk About… Makeup

I’ve had a couple of blog posts in the works for quite a while now, but I haven’t really had the time to properly finish them, and they’re about topics that are quite important to me, so I kind of want to take my time with them… So, I decided to make today’s post a short one, and leave it out for discussion (so share your thoughts)!

I haven’t worn any makeup at all for the last two days. Yes, two. I should also probably mention that I haven’t exactly left my apartment for the last two days, either. So… there’s that. Since I knew I wouldn’t be going anywhere, and I was (with the exception of having a friend over for a couple of hours) on my own, I figured I’d let my pores rest and be natural. For two whole days.

If this sounds absolutely ridiculous to you, well… it should.

Here’s the thing, I rarely wear a full face of makeup, like, ever. But, there’s a certain baseline level that I’ve become absolutely dependent on. It’s not much (some concealer and a little filling of my eyebrows) but without it, well, I’m just not very happy, and confidence becomes more foreign to me than Mandarin.

I think it’s unfortunate. That dependency on makeup is such a thing for so many of us. Not all of us, of course, but a large number. And it makes me miss that romanticized childhood carefree demeanor.

I don’t really want to get into my thoughts about why we wear makeup and how I feel about it and all that, mostly because I don’t have the time right now, but all I can say for now is that I wish I was more comfortable with the idea of a completely bare face.

What do you guys think?

 

 

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